Friday, April 19, 2013

Communication

            I really enjoyed the variety of poems that Garren Small offered during his lecture. It touched on a lot of different but equally powerful types of love and desire, some of which we have not addressed much in class, such as his poems about parental love, or feeling the power of seeing someone else’s love from afar. The hustle and bustle of city life in many of his poems highlighted the importance of communication and the difficulties that come with attaining it, something that Small seemed particularly passionate about. His poems had the warmth of a content love along with the coldness that comes with being alone in a crowd of people.
            In many questions that have to do with morality, I often find myself saying that the answer is communication. How can you protect your daughters from the hegemonic representations of women in the media? Talk with them. How do you protect your sons from the ever growing ease of access to pornographic images? Discuss it with them. How do you help someone grieve for a lost loved one? Get over a break-up? Apologize for doing something wrong? The answer is always communication.
           But Small’s lecture helped remind me that communication is not only a solution but a preventative. It’s a way to stay on a path, not just to get back onto it once we’ve strayed. Communication can keep a relationship alive, not just revive it. Many people forget about communicating with each other until the relationship is already at its breaking point. Yet, Small’s poetry still left me with the question of why we sometimes find it so difficult to share what we are feeling and thinking with others. Is it because we are afraid of being honest with the other person, or is it because we are afraid of being honest with ourselves?

Friday, April 12, 2013

Love on the Brain

I’ve heard people say that they were addicted to love. I’ve had friends that would fall in love over and over again, only to give up on the relationship after a brief amount of time to fall in love with someone else. I had thought people like this were silly. Their loves were so numerous there was no way that they got the chance to get to know the people that they “loved”, but nonetheless they were obsessed and possessive and would torture themselves while waiting for the cellphone to ring. How pathetic, I thought, until I listen to Dr. Lucy Brown’s lecture and explored her website (seeyourfeelings.com).
Suddenly instead of pity, I felt sympathy for not only the serial daters, but anyone who fell in love. This delusion seems to be completely out of their hands. They are so excited by these chemical reactions in their brains and feelings spreading throughout their bodies that they don’t have a chance to step outside of the situation and ask themselves if they really even know the person that they say they’re in love with.
This scientific aspect of love and desire only furthers the idea that it is so easy to be in love with love that it doesn’t even matter who the person you are in love with really is. This helps explain why people are so surprised when the person they are in a relationship with does something wrong, such as cheating, and why people are so ready to take that same person back time after time. It’s easy to fall into the trap of loving being in love, rather than loving the person you’re with.